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          1. 欢迎访问90后文学网

            没有谁永远是谁窗前的那轮明月

            作者:我是诗人莫知 来源: 时间:2013-06-23 阅读: 字体: 在线投稿

                   我坐在窗前读书,休息的片刻看微风拂过,窗外学校散去学生的教学楼显得凄凉,安静的篮球场显得寂寞,脑里还浮现着昨日下午去的那片柳林,柳枝垂落在地面,等待风给予的飘落,风的苍凉里我听到了落寞的脚步声。

                   市郊公园里的天空格外地湛蓝,我无法拥抱这甚美的画面,也遗憾勿将相机随身携带,拍下没有尘世人烟的风景。突然想起胡兰成在初见张爱玲时写给她的话:因为懂得,所以慈悲。在我还不熟知兰成与爱玲的故事时,我以为他们会永远地在一起,两个都是超自以为是的人,最终唱了一出悲剧。是张爱玲太高傲了,不愿意为多情的胡兰成再低到尘埃里,还是胡兰成不配再时时仰望原本只要抬头就可以仰望的窗前那轮明月——张爱玲。胡兰成在《身在忘川》一文的结尾写到:我身在忘川,立在那块属于我的三生石旁,三生石上只有爱玲的名字,可是我看不见爱玲你在哪儿,原是今生今世已惘然,山河岁月空惆怅,而我终究是要等着你的。每每想起这一段话,眼眶止不住地湿润,有谁甘愿将另一人痴痴地等,除了在诗经唐诗宋词里我还能追寻到这样的足迹,再者就是金岳霖甘愿为了林徽因终身未娶,这种至深的情爱我已经不好去形容到底升华到了一种什么样的程度。我们都是红尘中的俗世男女,在我们迷恋一个人时候可能会想到天长地久,在那之后更多地不过是选择遗忘,面对未来的生活。

                   我不信了那天长地久亦是情有可原的事。某个人曾经对我说此生只爱我一人,可他到底是没有经受得住时空和距离的考验,待我再度出现在他的身边时,他终究还是坦白了身边已经有另外一个人,他居然还能说出不爱那个人,只爱我。那他把那个女子当作了什么,无论我曾经多么爱,在异地每天多么地思念,面对这样的结果我永远只会选择决然地离开。我宁愿将过往的美好放在心底珍藏,也不愿接受一个破碎裂痕的爱情。

                   没有谁永远是谁窗前的那轮明月,亦是嫦娥仙子站在月宫里也不能确保凡人都能时刻地望见她。一个朋友给我讲了一个他亲身亲历的故事,那是他读军校的时候,在武汉 ,实习去一店里买纪念品,遇上一个勤工俭学的华中师大的女学生,两人插出了爱的火花,在他实习结束回大连的部队之后一直保持着联系,写信,传呼从没间断过。两人都毕业后已经到了谈婚论嫁的地步,女孩愿意为了他去大连,并且说不会打扰他在部队的工作,我的朋友却建议女孩南下广东,后来意见不合,一次在传呼的谈话里,朋友刚刚说出“我的第一次给了你,我这一辈子也只爱你一人”传呼断了,女孩已经离开学校,从此两人便失去了联系,直到现今。后来朋友等了女孩两年便婚娶了,现在有一个还算完美的家庭,曾经的那段故事已经藏在心中,我想如果我不是借口要写作素材,能够知道这么一段往事的人应该屈指可数,毕竟是九十年代的军人故事。

                   听完这个故事后,我沉默了很久,握在手里的笔停留在日记本上一动也不能动,我不知道怎么去安慰我的朋友,我也想对那个女孩子做过多的探索,她结婚了吗?有没有守着他们曾经的诺言孤独地度过无数苍凉的夜晚?还是在与朋友失去联系不久后便已经转嫁他人,之后也同所有婚嫁的女人一样已经变成一个整天为柴米油盐操劳的主妇?曾经读过一句话青涩的岁月里你曾经爱过一个人,没有一辈子厮守,在八十岁的时候还能够牵手走在一起,并且还能相吻,那才是得到;欢灾,所谓的窗前那轮永远的明月,我想此生已没有人能够随时望见。胡兰成望不见张爱玲,我望不见他,朋友望不见他的武汉女友,金岳霖望不见林徽因,唐玄宗望不见杨贵妃……既然没有谁永远是谁窗前那轮明月,我们何不过好了现有的生活。即便回忆,心里也还是能够保存一丝温存与甜美。


            【编辑寄语】:人生若只如初见,何事秋风悲画扇。时光的流转,现实的打磨,总在多年后让我们变成当初毫不相识的那个人。所幸那虚无缥缈的记忆却能穿越时空将我们联系到一起。我们只需过好每一刻的如今,为往后的岁月添加一份最美好最深刻的记忆。也许明月总会有阴晴圆缺,在我们的记忆里,却永远是当初那么皓洁。问好作者,欢迎投稿90后文学网!


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